If 2007 Was the Summer of Apathy, Was 2008 the Summer of Bugs?

I wrote this post in the middle of the night/the early morning of May 24, 2008. I hope it's as funny now as it was then.
Current mood: scary bug!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I KNEW THERE WAS A GIANT BUG IN MY ROOM BUT NO ONE CARED!!!!

I was lying in bed, thinking about how it was getting nice and cozy even though it was cold and lonely in my room and even the cat was missing, and even though those two reunited lovers were over in that one room talking really loudly to each other because when have they been able to think about anyone besides themselves??—when all of a sudden, rustlerustlerustle SOMETHING WAS MOVING.  And I made noises to call the cat to me, but there was no cat coming to me, so I went to turn on the light because sometimes the cat doesn't come, even for me.  But there was no cat.  And it was creepy.

And then I walked toward the next RUSTLERUSTLERUSTLE and all of a sudden something was flying by my face!  But I couldn't see because my glasses weren't on.  So I went to tell Emma but she was also trying to sleep and she told me it was probably a moth blahhhhhhh.  And I said, NO!!  The big creepy dead bug is missing from the side of my bed—because, you see, a couple days ago I noticed a big brown creepy beetle-like thing next to my bed and I poked it and the leg sort of moved which was scary but I thought it was just a weird dead-bug reflex because it seemed very dead.  But I hadn't almost stepped on it or squished it with a book in a couple days so that was weird.  Emma said the cat probably ate the big creepy dead bug.  BUT the flying thing that I saw with my blind blind eyes didn't look mothlike at all!  Plus, who wants a moth either???  But she didn't care so I turned on the bathroom light and turned off my light and hoped it would leave.

Thankfully, I was really sleepy and fell asleep, even though it was scary and those two people were still loud.  And it was REALLY scary—yesterday I heard rustling noises when I was trying to sleep but they weren't the cat when I turned on the light and I thought someone was somehow trying to break into my room or something even though that doesn't really make sense so I ran downstairs to my awake roommates.

ANYWAY, this is NIGHT NUMBER TWO OF THE CREEPY CREEPY RUSTLING BUG.  But I fell asleep anyway, but then at 3:20 I awoke, either because down the tiny hall they are still talking very loudly and male voices carry like whoa, or because of the RUSTLING noise that was BACK.  So I turned on the light and AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH it WAS the creepy dead beetle-thing!  He flies up and up all rustly and trying to get somewhere along the wall and runs into the wall and then falls on the ground and buzzes some and then haphazardly ends up in a different part of my room and does it again and it was creepy!  So I asked Ali to help me with the big scary bug in my room and Alex said "let her do it" and it was SAD so then I went and squealed some more because it's fucking SCARY and then I got a glass and couldn't find it but eventually did and now it is TRAPPED but AAAAAAHHHHHH WHAT A LOUD CREEPY INSECT.

Then I spent 15 minutes trying to steal me some wireless to make this ridiculous post that turned out really fucking long.

Now my foot is asleep, WHY??  I'm not sitting on it or anything, it's just asleep for no reason!  Scary.

*'Las Pampas' was one of the names Cooper and I were trying to give Table Cat, to Emma's dismay. Our efforts earned us the names Hegemonic Roommate the Male/the Female. Come on, geographic formations for names are hilarious. "Las Pampas is in the basement." "Las Pampas is attacking my printer." Grasslands don't do these things! Argentina is not in our basement!
 Above, the beetle-thing. Later, these were in/on our house. The last one is especially troubling—at the time, Emma asked, "Is this even from North America?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh Marisa I love you

-mysterious stranger